Healthy Leaders | Issue 6
One size does not fit all, craving approval is as old as time itself, and growing old can actually be a good thing
Welcome to Issue 6 of Healthy Leaders.
In this issue ‒ one size does not fit all, craving approval is as old as time itself, and growing old can actually be a good thing. Also: five types of difficult people. Let’s dive in.
The Key to Understanding the Bible
Let’s open with this piece by Seth Lewis, who gets to the heart of understanding the Bible, that is: your heart and how you respond to it.
“…although this book is the ultimate best-selling, world-shaping classic of literature, it can’t be fully understood if it is read like other books. It is not one more textbook to study, or history to appreciate, or how-to guide to follow. It is unique: it is God’s revelation of who he is and what he has done, and of who we are and what our lives are for. It does not present us with a religious or philosophical system to assent to, it presents us with a personal God to respond to. Reading it, hearing sermons about it, and studying it are all great things to do, but if you really want to understand the Bible, it’s not enough to listen to it. You have to respond to it. You have to obey it.”
If you want to get past a purely academic knowledge of Scriptures into this life-transforming power, here’s a design that can help you.
The Benefits of Being the Old Guy
Darryl Dash reflects on the benefits of embracing age as a blessing.
“I am increasingly the old guy. Call it what you will: seasoned, mature, experienced, or just old. At 55, I have fewer years before me than I do behind me.
And I like it. I didn’t know myself well in my younger years. I wasn’t aware of the limits of my giftedness. I hadn’t yet learned my blind spots. My desire to prove myself drove a lot of my ministry, often in unhelpful ways.
Now I know myself. I’m more comfortable in my own skin. I know my limits. I’ve seen enough that it’s hard to be surprised. Most of all, I’ve seen God’s faithfulness in the ups and downs of life and ministry for a long time now. If given a chance to rewind my life, I don’t think I’d take it.”
Sounds like Darryl has been given some treasure, and is excited to share it with the next generation of leaders. It makes me a little more excited about getting older myself! If you’re in the older generation, I know that I, and likely others, would love to hear your reflections on aging well in the comments.
Revoke a Bad Decision Publicly
The folks at Admired Leadership must be working their way through LeaderSource’s 5C indicators for healthy leaders, because this could have come straight from the section on Character:
“Admitting mistakes, large and small, is a hallmark of good leadership and the credibility it depends on.
Team members respect leaders who own up to their missteps and show themselves to be human in the process. It takes a secure and self-confident leader to acknowledge to others that they have slipped up.
… Leaders who are willing to say confidently that they made a decision (mandated a policy, set a new pricing or compensation model, made an investment, crafted a new strategy, and so on) that flopped are rewarded with deep respect from those they lead.”
Or as Dr. Webber says it, a healthy leader “does not blame others when things go wrong, but takes responsibility for his or her own decisions and actions.” If this is something you struggle with, here’s a design that will help you.
How to Lead the 5 Most Difficult People
Dan Reiland provides a great perspective on leading people who make your life and ministry difficult by their behavior. I appreciate that he balances love and honesty here.
“As leaders we are called to love everyone, Jesus made that clear in John 13:34-35, but that does not mean we are to consistently tolerate behavior that harms the people and mission of the church… the tension in leadership is how to love and extend grace to people who are difficult and lead them in a way that serves them well, and advances the mission of the church.”
Dan goes on to provide leadership tips based on the type of difficult person you are encountering: discontented, negative, argumentative, duplicitous, or apathetic.
When It Comes to Building Leaders, One Size Does Not Fit All
Difficult people come in different types, and so do emerging leaders (though hopefully not as difficult). So how do we build them when they are all so different from each other?
Malcolm Webber points out that it’s not about curriculum, but about a lifestyle.
“Leaders who build leaders must first know them. They must step beyond superficial acquaintance and the temptation to resort to routine ‘methods’ of development. It is not sufficient for the mentoring leader to give the emerging leader ‘the book that we use for leadership training’ and have him read it, and then ask him the prescribed questions. The mentoring leader, after taking the time to get to know the new leader in a variety of situations, must design a multi-faceted strategy of development that will be most appropriate for him. Over time, this strategy will need to be corrected and adjusted, perhaps completely reworked. This whole process will take considerably more time and effort than the usual ‘here’s the book or course we always use’ method, but will yield far superior results.”
Like most things worth doing, this one also takes blood, sweat, tears, and time.
How (Not) to Satisfy Your Longing for Approval
While you’re working on building those leaders (or whatever work God has set in front of you for today), you might find yourself craving approval. Blake Glosson takes on this essential desire of mankind.
“At its core, our desire for approval is actually a desire for righteousness. As Tim Keller explains, to be righteous means ‘I have passed inspection in the eyes of a significant other; I have been found pleasing to someone I want to please.’ He also argues that this desire ‘is at the center of all our souls.’ Now, if our longing to be approved is so central—and if this desire is ultimately a desire for righteousness—how can we satisfy this longing?”
You can probably guess his conclusion: none of the ways we have sought to satisfy that longing (fig leaves, goatskins, dirty rags, etc.) actually work.
But something else does:
“Whether you are a believer or an unbeliever, Jesus invites you to stop hiding from him, and to start hiding in him (see Col. 3:3). Jesus is the righteousness you need (1 Cor. 1:30)—and if you trust in him, you can be sure that the same words the Father spoke to him, he speaks to you: ‘This is my beloved child, in whom I am well pleased.’”
May we rest and rejoice today, and every day, in this divine approval.
Amen, and amen.
That’s all for this one, friends. If you found something encouraging in this letter, share it with a friend. If you’ve found something encouraging outside of this letter, send it our way. We love to share what our leaders love.
Until next time, we’re with you!
— Chris
(for all of us at LeaderSource)
Thanks for sharing. Especially on the issue of seeking approval and aging.